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There is a disturbing rise in the numbers of teenage boys demanding rough sex and choking partners as young as 12, new research revealed.

A recent survey by Dr. Debby Herbenick, known to be one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior, questioned 5,000 women anonymously at a ‚major Midwestern university,‘ the New York Times reported. 

Almost two-thirds of women who responded said they had been choked by a partner during sex – but an even more worryingly statistic emerged: 40 percent were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time choking happened.

During a previous survey, the figure was far fewer at 25 percent (or one in four). 

Experts warned that the normalization of rough sex during popular culture, the widespread accessibility of pornography and social media are driving this trend. 

A concerning trend shows an increase in teenage boys demanding rough sex, including choking, from partners as young as 12. Porn and popular culture appears to be to blame. Pictured, Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan in the 2015 film Fifty Shades Of Grey

In last year’s single, by Jack Harlow, ‚Lovin On Me‘ begins with the lyrics: ‚I’m vanilla baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.‘ 

The survey’s findings corroborate those of another writer and researcher specializing in sexual behavior, Peggy Orenstein, a sexuality researcher and college professor, who notes the rise in the choking phenomenon during sex.

Orenstein states how she was startled in early 2020 when during a Q&A at a high school, a 16-year-old girl came to her asking: ‚How come boys all want to choke you?‘ 

Then in a separate class a 15-year-old boy asked: ‚Why do girls all want to be choked?‘ 

One of the most common forms of rough sex is referred to as ‚choking‘, although specifically it is a form of strangulation as it sees pressure being placed on the neck.

Bother Herbenick and Orenstein say strangulation is becoming more widespread. 

Autoerotic asphyxia – when someone restricts oxygen to their own brain for the purposes of arousal – isn’t new, with cases documented since the early 17th century. 

But, historically, it has been ’niche‘ and an overwhelmingly male pastime.  

 Peggy Orenstein, a sexuality researcher and college professor has noted the rise in the choking phenomenon during sex

Dr. Debby Herbenick, known to be one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior, questioned 5,000 women anonymously. 1 in 4 said they were choked between the ages of 12 and 17

‚Sexual strangulation, nearly always of women in heterosexual pornography, has long been a staple on free sites, those default sources of sex ed for teens. As with anything else, repeat exposure can render the once appalling appealing. It’s not uncommon for behaviors to be normalized in porn, move within a few years to mainstream media, then, in what may become a feedback loop, be adopted in the bedroom or the dorm room,‘ Orenstein writes in a piece for the New York Times. 

‚Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic. That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.‘

Popular culture appears to have much to answer together with how widely accessible pornography has become, coupled with the influence of social media.

Herbenick recalls how during a 2008 episode of HBO’s ‚Californication,‘ the practice of choking was depicted where it was still both unusual and startling.

The trend only accelerated following the release and success of ‚Fifty Shades of Gray‘, the booking coming out in 2012 and film three years later.

By 2019, it appeared to have been normalized with a high school girl being choked in the pilot episode of HBO’s ‚Euphoria‘ and 2023’s ‚The Idol‘.

In last year’s single, by Jack Harlow, ‚Lovin On Me‘ begins with the lyrics: ‚I’m vanilla baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.‘

Herbenick told the New York Times she is concerned at how widespread rough sex has become among young people and is keen for all parents, teachers and caregivers to be aware of the trend and possible harm it can cause. 

In her book, Herbenick describes ‚rough sex‘ as a varied group of sex acts including choking, smothering, spanking and slapping. 

She noted how during sexual activities between women and men, the woman is nearly always the person on the receiving end of rough sex, and the man is nearly always the person doing the choking or slapping or smothering. 

Her research appears to suggested that many young people believe  sex is supposed to be rough. 

Young men learn about rough sex from pornography, whilst young women pick up on it from social media memes and TikTok. Both sexes also pick up on ideas about rough sex from friends and popular culture including music and TV shows. Pictured Dakota Johnson in 50 Shades of Grey

In another survey from last year the average age at which young people first see pornography, whether on purpose or by accident, is 12 years old. 

It means many teenagers are now watching pornography several years before they are ever sexually active with a partner. 

The continual bombardment and exposure to rough sex through porn in turn sets up expectations as to how sex is ’supposed‘ to be. The ideas are also not being countered by proper sex education in schools or at home.

Herbenick says that when college students are asked why they participate in rough sex, they generally say because it feels exciting or adventurous.

If they don’t take part, they worry they will be branded as boring or be ‚vanilla shamed‘.

She notes how some young men worry they won’t be viewed as masculine if they don’t choke or slap their partner.

Herbenick states that young men learn about rough sex from pornography, while young women pick up on it from social media memes and TikTok. 

Both sexes also pick up on ideas about rough sex from friends and popular culture including music and TV shows.

She reassures that they’re not bad people if they’re interested or have tried this – just merely responding to the world around them from popular culture, social media or perhaps after being asked by a partner.

But she wants parents to inform their children of the dangers rough sex can bring – namely that choking and strangulation can cause brain damage and death with no ’safe‘ way to choke anyone. 

Those who are being choked find it hard to breathe or speak meaning a person’s ability to give consent or being asked to stop are often not possible.

HBOEuphoriaNew York Times

Read more:

Opinion | The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex – The New York Times

British Muslim clerics who embarked on a so-called ‚fact-finding‘ mission to Afghanistan have praised the ‚beautiful‘ Taliban leaders for instilling freedom in the country following their rise to power amid the US pullout in August 2021. 

The imams travelled to Afghanistan last summer as part of a trip organised by Prosper Afghanistan, a UK-based NGO that seeks to support rebuilding initiatives, and the Human Aid & Advocacy group.

The all-male delegation spent eight days touring Afghanistan and meeting with Taliban leaders, making statements on Afghan TV extolling their virtues, before returning to Britain to continue their praise of the Taliban at an event held at Queen Mary University of London (QMUL).

Muslim outlet 5pillars reported the trip aimed to ‚dispel myths‘ about Afghanistan following the Western media’s ‚complete distortion of reality‘ in the country. 

A member of the group, Mufti Ismail Satia, told the 250-person-strong crowd at QMUL: ‚We went to Afghanistan with a very open mind… it brought back to me the stories of the Sahaba (companions of Prophet Muhammad) that we read. 

‚They reminded me of those who sacrificed for Islam and those who were willing to do anything for Islam.‘

Shaykh Haitham Al-Haddad meanwhile defended the Taliban’s restriction of girls‘ education, claiming that any criticism of the move is nothing more than Western propaganda to demonise the hardline Islamists. 

‚Western secular influences were being driven into the minds of the students who were speaking against the Shariah and many vices were creeping in… when it is time to rebuild the country we cannot tolerate division and therefore temporary suspension of liberal, secular education took place.‘

The imams travelled to Afghanistan last summer as part of a trip organised by Prosper Afghanistan, a UK-based NGO that seeks to support rebuilding initiatives, and the Human Aid & Advocacy group

Muslim outlet 5pillars reported the trip aimed to ‚dispel myths‘ about Afghanistan following the Western media’s ‚complete distortion of reality‘ in the country

Armed Taliban security personnel ride a vehicle convoy as they parade near the US embassy in Kabul on August 15, 2023, during the second anniversary celebrations of their takeover

The trip organised in July 2023 came weeks before the Taliban celebrated the second anniversary of their return to power and the takeover of Kabul.

Taliban leaders point to the distinct lack of conflict in Afghanistan as evidence their government has brought security and peace to the nation, which for decades prior had been wracked by war.

There has also seemingly been a reduction in corruption, which was rife amid the two-decade-long rule of Western-backed governments thanks to the aid money poured into the country. 

But human rights observers say this relative security was achieved by ruthless policing and a restriction of general freedoms – and has been blighted by an increase in terror attacks by extremist groups. 

And the plight of women has become dire since the return of the Taliban.

Girls over the age of 12 have been mostly excluded from school and the government has also stopped most Afghan female staff from working at aid agencies, closed beauty salons, barred women from public spaces like parks and gyms and curtailed travel for women in the absence of a male guardian.

Journalism and activism, which also blossomed in the two decades of rule by Western-backed governments, has been significantly suppressed with a slew of media workers and https://chungchinghecacloai.com/ campaigners detained. 

But these factors appeared to be of little importance for the British imams, who sang the praises of their hosts on Afghan television.

Suliman Gani, a Muslim chaplain at St George’s Hospital in the district of Tooting in London, said to the RTA network: ‚We are understanding your vision and it’s very, very positive … the government itself have set such an amazing vision which has really touched my heart and really impressed me and gives us more confidence.‘

Al-Haddad meanwhile dismissed the importance of women’s education and said the Taliban must focus on consolidating security, economy and spirituality.

‚Security [is] the first element of establishing a country and the second one is … economy and the third one then [is] the spiritual kind of dimension,‘ he said. 

‚Then we can discuss other things about women’s education. 

The British imams sang the praises of their hosts on Afghan television before returning to London to extoll their virtues

Taliban supporters parade through the streets of Kabul on August 15, 2023 in Kabul

Afghan women wait to receive food rations distributed by a humanitarian aid group, in Kabul, Afghanistan, Tuesday, May 23, 2023

Speaking at QMUL, Hamid Mahmood, the founder of an Islamic girls‘ school in east London, told the audience of the freedom he felt in Afghanistan.

‚It was somewhat a quite sad and painful experience leaving that land because I will be very honest and I’ve said this very clearly that there was something there, a feeling [of] outright freedom,‘ he declared.

‚After speaking to many ministers we realised what freedom meant. They were trying to free themselves not just from physical oppression, physical subjugation and colonialism but also financial, economic and also intellectual enslavement.‘

But Zalmai Nishat, founder of the anti-extremist Etidal Peace and Democracy Foundation told The Times: ‚This is a perfect exercise of whitewashing and glorification of the Taliban… this security they talk about is at the expense of freedom and marginalisation of ethnic communities in Afghanistan.‘

A spokesperson for QMUL told The Times the event in September was not sponsored by the university, adding that it was jointly organised by Prosper Afghanistan and Human Aid & Advocacy. 

LondonAfghanistanTalibanQueen Mary of Teck

Read more:

British clerics praise ‘beautiful‘ Taliban on TV after Afghanistan visit

British Muslim scholars dispel myths about Afghanistan – 5Pillars